Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Sweet and Sour of Running and Relationships

I have been running for a year already and I must say everything I have encountered along the way, my running milestones, events, trainings, joining run groups, writing blogs, the media interview, write up on the newspaper, meeting new friends and making an advocacy into reality was indeed a sweet experience. But running also takes up our time, especially if we are dead serious about training.

I am now training for my first Pikermi Race (21K or half marathon) hopefully before the year ends and to achieve that, I need to get serious on training. I have made a training plan for myself. I cannot adapt on published ones since they are hardcore for me. So just to give you a glimpse here are my training schedules.

Tuesdays - Bonifacio Global City - Recovery/Easy Run in 1 hour
Thursdays - aNR BHS Training Day - Drills
Sundays - BGC - Mc Kinley - Bayani - Lawton & back - LSD of 3 hours
*Gym sessions daily in mornings and evenings

I also have a day job every weekdays as a Marketing Assistant in an Well-known Magazine & Advertising Company from 9:00AM to 6:00PM. So if you can imagine, almost all my time is spent on work and trainings.

So where do personal relationships come in?

One Thursday night when I got home from my training, I found my significant other at home, playing on my PC. When he saw me he logged off the game and greeted me "How was your run?". It was the usual encounter we are having since I started training seriously. I will smile and tell him stories about it. He would gladly listen. But one time he asked me this question that left me astounded... "I am letting you run because I want you to be healthy, but I never expected that you'll take it too seriously that you're spending too much time on it..."

My initial reaction was "Why is he questioning me? I am not doing anything wrong". I got mad at first but when I looked into his face and saw his eyes full of emotions, I was speechless.

I have been keeping a blissful relationship with him for the past eight years. I never had any relationships before him. He was my first and probably my last. I was so young when I met him. He was like my older brother. We started out as friends. We go out and eventually after some time we decided to take it to the next level. Like every relationships, we also experienced the brink of breaking it off but maybe because we love each other much and we can't say goodbye, it's still worth one more try. Who would blame him? He is a very gorgeous man. Girls and the not so girls are going gaga over him. Funny is that even if he meet beautiful women along his way, he still comes back to the ugly girl that he can't let go. I wonder what's in me that keeps him coming back.

He is a very introvert man. Often mistaken as a snob. He chooses only people whom he wants to be friends with. Unlike other men, he dislikes going out, drinking with the boys and partying. He is a homebody. He rather sleep than spend time with friends. He is also a handyman. Can fix almost anything from broken fixtures, electricity lines to leaking faucets, that's why my Mom likes him. We save money in hiring someone to fix it. He works as a cook in an Italian restaurant. His life only rotates on family and work.

Nope, he's not a member of Jabbawockeez but he wants to be anonymous...
What I like most about him is he lets me grow on my own and explore on my own. He lets me have my own set of friends, he never restricts me on going out, meeting new people and trying out new things. He is very supportive of my cause. In return, I pay respect to him. I also give him his own space. I stay away from his personal things. I don't meddle with his work issues. I let him keep his own set of friends. I give him the privacy that he deserves. I just support him whenever he needs me.

Knowing him and weighing down the words that he said it is really very unbalanced. He won't say those things unless he thinks I'm going overboard.

As a woman keeping a full time day job and doing trainings in between, I must admit I am guilty of spending almost all of my time for career and running that I almost forget to spend some quality time with my personal relationships. I remember one time I went home past 1:00AM from a party with my runner friends my Mom said "I think you're spending too much time on running, you won't have a decent sleep, you still have work tomorrow morning". I just told her that I can handle the situation. I know she's just worried about my health. My Mom has been a worrier since I became a Diabetic, and she never stopped since.

We are not the typical couple who goes out for a date or spend time together outside much. We rather stay at home, watch DVD's or play computer games. But recently I am so guilty of not giving him some time. He may be at home but I neglect him most of the time. When I come home from trainings I am usually so tired that sleeping is the next thing I'll do.

One time, I had this conversation with a fellow runner friend who has been finding it difficult to balance his time on trainings and relationship issues, much like what my situation is. I feel for him. I know how hard it is to juggle everything. Like, if you can be in two places at the same time, you will. But then again, you can't.

At least Landon made Jamie experience being in two places at the same time... (From my favorite movie, A Walk To Remember starring Shane West and Mandy Moore)

Since I became sick, I am always particular in spending my time on things that I want to do. I don't procrastinate. I know at any moment I can do something productive. Maybe that's the effect if you know that your life's hourglass is emptying it's sand faster than others does. I feel that time is so precious I need to make the most out of it.

How am I dealing with it right now? I am trying to talk to him about it. I want him to understand but it seems that he is not considering. So, I decided to just give it some time, hoping that it will do good for both of us. I am trying to make up to him but recently I feel that he's losing it. I don't want to assume at this early but things has really changed a lot, and I feel I am the one to blame.

We have been through so much that I think this issue is just small compared to the previous ones. I can't afford to lose such wonderful person who loves me despite my condition and imperfections. I know no one can ever love me the way he does. Maybe were just having a thing they called the humdrum stage. Because of being together for the longest time, things feels a bit monotonous.

"Time is gold". A very common words of wisdom that is really very true. I also believe that it's not about giving material things but it's in giving your precious time for someone that is the best way to make them feel that they are indeed special because material things can be replaced but time, you can never bring it back.

Let us remember to value those people that loves us despite how busy we may be on our run trainings. A simple short message or call in the middle of a busy day is indeed reassuring, and how about a walk at a park or a dine out during weekends? Let us not wait for things to become complicated before we do something about it. Like what my Doctors always say "Prevention is better than cure".

Should we carry on? Maybe the thrill is gone
I'd like to know for sure
Why should we carry on? Could both of us be wrong?
We're standing much too close inside each others lives to see,
that love has passed us by...
(Should We Carry on by Airplay)

If we want to keep running for love, we need to give our best to keep the love we have despite the odds, and not run away from it...

Good Vibes everyone and Sweet Running! ^_^


ann said...

your post - it's all from the heart and it's so brave of you to put it out there.
i hope everything will work out fine between you and your beau.

Running Atom said...

"If we want to keep running for love, we need to give our best to keep the love we have despite the odds, and not run away from it."

- I love this Amanda, very well said! It left a hook... I remember the book that I've just started to read (Running on Empty), Marshall Ulrich has been unconsciously running away from his relationship just because he can't bear to see the suffering of his significant other. It left great pain to him, to his wife and his daughter.

Anyway, wishing you the best for your first Pikermi and your partner in life. Maybe you can bring him along with you to be there at the finish line for your strong 21k finish :)

The Sweet Life Runner said...

Hi Ann!

Thank you so much! We're working things out and I'm positive we'll get through this...

Ei Kuya Alfred!

Thank you very much for the warm wish. I got interested in your book. Well, I always dreamed of seeing him on the finish line. I really wish it will happen...