On Endings...
I've been encountering some problems with my legs for a month now and I have been blaming my shoes for that. I was about to buy a new pair of shoes but something came up, my tooth, particularly the right molar started to feel pain and it is gradually intensifying.
It ofcourse affected me in so many ways so I decided to finally have it removed. Honestly, I was so afraid but the pain won't go away and I am really determined to get out of it the soonest possible time. So I called my dentist up and set up an appointment with her early the next morning.
You might ask why am I so afraid of tooth extraction? Well, I am diabetic, and given that condition everything else becomes complicated. There is a high probability that Diabetics do not survive this kind of procedure. You might wanna check out an article HERE.
So the day came in. I was at her clinic. The pain is acting up again. She has no option but to remove the tooth since there is already a huge hole on the crown and she said the puss inside is causing the pain. She checked my pulse and my blood sugar and it's fine. She asked me that this procedure is very sensitive and we both should be ready for what might happen. I breath in and told her "I'm ready".
She began the procedure. I tried to relax to the best of my ability. I am not afraid of her devices nor on the injections because I am used to that. I am afraid of what I know about tooth extraction complications in Diabetes. These are the times I wish I was ignorant.
The first blow to get the tooth out was unsuccessful. That's where I got the most intense pain of my entire life. I was closing my fists and my toes were so cold. I am closing my eyes to reduce the pain. She cannot take the tooth out by mere extraction. I need to undergo a minor operation in an instant.
She tried to loosen up the tooth by inserting a sharp apparatus inside. I was in intense pain already, then the anesthesia started to weaken down. My eyes are all teary. I cannot endure the pain anymore. I think I was about to faint. I went ballistic when I saw the blood spilling out from my mouth. I even overheard her telling her assistant that I might need blood transfusion for later because of the blood loss. When she saw my condition she immediately took another shot of anesthesia and this time, she injected more. It did reduce the pain, but it didn't took it all away.
Her second attempt was a success. But the 1 1/2 hours of struggle on that procedure was very strenuous and painful. Losing the tooth didn't take the pain away. I was still in pain for the last 4 hours after the successful operation.
I went home feeling so weak and until now I am still recuperating from that intense experience. Yes I survived! A simple tooth extraction became an orthodontic operation because of my condition. I almost passed out because of excruciating pain. Anesthesia failed to do it's job. I thought it's gonna be my last day on earth but surprisingly, I woke up. Another miracle! Thank God for the gift of life!
The dark portion is where the puss started to mold. I took it as a remembrance,
or maybe I'll save it for tooth fairy so she can grant me a wish?
On Beginnings...
If you can remember I said a while ago that I have problems with my legs? Yes it's true. After a series of tests the Doctors found out that I have Peripheral Arterial Disease.
So what is that all about? According to Medline Plus Website, "Peripheral arterial disease (PAD) happens when there is a narrowing of the blood vessels outside of the heart. The cause of PAD is atherosclerosis. This happens when plaque, a substance made up of fat and cholesterol, builds up on the walls of the arteries that supply blood to the arms and legs. The plaque causes the arteries to narrow or become blocked. This can reduce or stop blood flow, usually to the legs, causing them to hurt or feel numb. If severe enough, blocked blood flow can cause tissue death. If this condition is left untreated, a foot or leg may need to be amputated."
Have you notice I haven't wore anything that shows my lower legs? though I am wearing shorts I wear long socks? Why is that so? Well, This is the reason why...
These are now scars. But before they were fresh deep wounds, and they are painful!
Yes, I have been suffering with leg ulcers for five years now, and I've been keeping it a secret to everyone. Though three years ago the condition of my legs were so severe I even had it evaluated for amputation but I'm lucky enough that they have revived my nerves. But this time I think a different condition has began. This PAD thing that is happening to me right now is the reason why I had so much pain when I start to run my first five kilometers.
I have been expecting this but still bad news is bad news. What the Doctor told me is that because of this condition, I won't be able to engage into a strenuous exercise anymore. And yes, running is included on his list of prohibitions...
I don't know how to take this new challenge. A new beginning of something that I need to face. I am known as a hardheaded person and I always have my own decision on things. I will still try to run but I will have precautions this time, and ofcourse I'll seek second opinion. Maybe another Doctor can shed a spark of hope for me. I am keeping my faith. I know I can still run, and I should run!
Something sweet to look forward to...
I just had my Graduation Pictorial last Friday. It was least of what I have expected. I'm glad that my professor and my good friend Sanjie agreed to do my hair and make up for the pictorial since I freaked out when I saw a schoolmate who posted his grad pic on his facebook account and he looked so, ugh! All I know is that I don't wanna look like that on my picture.
I have entrusted to him everything and he never failed me. His skills are so amazing! He can transform me into a human being in less than an hour!
No photoshop editions made on this picture. I look so pretty here. I'm so happy! ^_^
So after that beautiful transformation I waited for my turn at the photo shoot. It took around 3 hours waiting time and I am already pissed off. But what should I expect? Its a public school and there are lots of students waiting in line just like me. So I just maintained my patience and waited until it's my turn. So while waiting I just took some shots from my camera with some of my classmates who were same as me, patiently waiting for their turn.
Here are some of the pictures from my camera:
with my classmate, Shiela
Behind the scene shot
Just playing up!
Last night, I had a chat with my good friend. It was short but sweet. She told me she's so thankful that she met me, and I made a huge impact on her life. I got teary-eyed. I remembered the moment when we almost lost our friendship. She was very special to me, and I am glad that in the end we still have each other.
My graduation day is on April 30th and I am looking forward to it. I owe so much to my Uncle Jojo who funded most of my expenses at school. To my mentor, Mam Lot who's always there when I need guidance. To my significant other, Enrico who's always there to back me up. To my son Ethan for giving me all the inspiration that's why I made it this far and ofcourse, to my ever dearest mother, Connie for all the sacrifices she has done for me. I could never get this far without them and ofcourse, with God's never ending love.
It is indeed true that when something ends, something new will begin. May the surprise be in a sweet or bitter packaging, the important thing is how we see and accept them. Take every hindrance as a challenge to push further. I will still run, and I will show them that it can be done, that it's possible against all odds. The love of the running community gives me the motivation that I can. As they say, you are only a failure if you stop trying. I may end up losing this battle, but I'll make sure I'll give it a good fight...
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| The Sweet Life of a Graduating Girl! |
